I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
