I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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