her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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