If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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