I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
