no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
