She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
