you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You're like the curious george of whores
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
