she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
