so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
