Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
