I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
