how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
