My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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