For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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