it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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