oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
