I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
