Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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