Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
