so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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