I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
