i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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