I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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