so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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