i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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