Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
