I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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