Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
