Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
