rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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