I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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