Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
