We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
