Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
