I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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