He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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