just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
