My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
