I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
my shit smells like andre
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
