If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
this hospital has no fireball
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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