Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
