Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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