none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
