You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
