yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
