Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
