He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
