i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
