Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
