Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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