also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
