Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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