NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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