he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
