I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
